Love, love, love, love.

I’ve read and heard that there are four types of love. Parental (security), Friendship, Romantic, and Unconditional. I’ve been thinking about these different types of love lately and I’ve been placing the people in my life into their respective categories.

Today I wanted to write about it not only because it is Valentine’s Day (Happy Hearts Day, by the way) but maybe to get it out of my head?

Parental or security love. This love is all about the security, safety, and protective love that a parent has for their child. The same could apply for a child to their parent or even another family member. Family love we could call it. Recently I found myself being more open and honest with my mother. She is my only real family in my life. She has been there always. That one constant person in my life. I wondered how she’d be with my honest and open approach. We had a very long and good phone conversation about me when she was in Vegas. She’s moved recently if you haven’t been reading up on my life. I thought it was all ok. I felt safe. I felt that security. That all disappeared last night when real feelings were shared in person. I know my mother loves me. I know so many people face a parent that is never there, not supportive in any way, or even sometimes disowns them. I am facing a very “I love you and always will. I want you to be happy”.… followed with a big “but”…. “I didn’t want this life for you. I prayed it wasn’t true. I want grandkids. I’m worried. It is too much to handle right now.”… I’m left hurt. Speechless. Confused. Scared. I feel like I have the security love of my mother, but not the acceptance. I feel like she worries far too much what other people think of me. I think she is ashamed. I have never felt ashamed of who I was based on who I loved. Love is love. I cannot control who I fall in love with.

Friendship Love. I have a lot of amazing friends. I have friends online and offline. I have people who care. I know all of this, but I did realize that a couple of those “best” friends have over the years grown away from me. That happens with life. I know this to be fact, but at the very same time I also know that it is because of me. My love. I’ve always been this way. I cannot change it. I realized that one person in particular in my friend circle has an issue with it. Cannot get passed it. Says he is ok. That he loves me for me, but I feel that awkward distance. It hurts. In high school my friends were my support system. They may not have known that or known the details of me. They had my back. They stood up for me when needed. They cared. I would have never made it through that small town high school environment if they were not in my life. I don’t know if I ever really thanked them. If they ever really knew. I lived my life for them because I felt like if I didn’t that they would leave me. My support system would crash and burn. I wonder looking back how many people felt this way and why it wasn’t communicated. Why was there no outlet for me. Why did I feel so alone. I was so very unhappy. Friendship love is one of the most important loves you’ll ever have in all of your life. Without it you may not even be able to survive. I wouldn’t have. I know I would have faded into some horrible statistic.

Romantic Love. That love of lust. That romancing. That flirt. The fun. The crazy. The laughs. The sighs. The looks. The hugs. The touch. The heart shake. The … everything that makes it… fun, passionate… romantic. In the end, the heart break. I’ve only felt this two or three times. Probably more like two. The feelings are amazing and horrible all in the same. Your stomach hurts. You think about it a lot. It consumes you. Sometimes it leads to young teenage mothers. A crush. Lust. I think you all know these thoughts and feelings. Everyone has felt them at least once in their life.

Unconditional Love. When you don’t end up in romantic love heart break you might be lucky enough to make it to a feeling of true unconditional love. This is the sincere love. The one that could last forever. The one that you want to last forever. The one that makes you smile for days straight. The one that makes the world a better place each morning. The one that makes you motivated. Inspired. The one that pushes song writers and non writers alike; writing those amazing classic love stories and songs that pump through your veins during your moments of love. I’ve felt this once. It is amazing. I have no idea what it turns into if it doesn’t work. I might be able to tell you sometime but right now I have no idea. This love is comfortable. It is natural. This kind of love comes when you have found the person you are destined to be with. Nothing can destroy unconditional love. It is like when you have an argument or disagree about something with that person and you realize that it doesn’t bother you because the love you have for them overcomes everything. I hope you experience this love. That this love never leaves your heart.

Love. I’ve been so passionate with my loves. Sometimes it comes back to hurt or sting, but that is apart of your love story. I’ve cried a lot in the last three days. I find myself worried about others and being so consumed in worry brings me to tears. I think it is healthy. The hurtful words from someone that provides security love even if they don’t mean for it to come off as hurtful makes me cry, too. Thinking about it all on the day in which you are suppose to spend with someone that you love brought me to tears. At my desk. At work. I feel super lame. I am ready for change. I need to feel amazing and powerful again. I need to feel that purpose again. I need to feel loved by those people that I hold nearest to my heart.

What is love to you? How many types of love do you feel there are?