Day 26, 27, 28, and 29 in the 30 Day Challenge.
Day 26 – Your fears.
I am afraid of never seeing a change in equal rights for all citizens. I am fearful of snakes, spiders, and sometimes small rooms. I fear being alone. I fear never seeing people I love again.
Day 27 – Your favorite place.
My car. Inside my car I am in control. I am comfortable. I am listening to music. I’m looked at. It’s my favorite place.
Day 28 – Something that you miss.
My mother. I miss her dearly and realize now how much living far away from someone really sucks. I also miss my Grandmother and Ashley, both have passed. Not a day goes by that I do not think about them. I miss sitting in the livingroom floor and painting the walls purple. I miss the unlimited excitement of the beginning of this year.
Day 29 – Your aspirations.
Run a company. Travel the world. Take the people I care for most with me. Walk in a runway fashion show. Feel passionate love.
Day 25 – A first.
I am not sure what to write. Maybe that is the first for me? I don’t have an amazing first that comes to mind that would keep your interest. My apologies. So I’ll share with you a condensed version of the experience of my first job.
I was 17 and applied to have a job for some spending money. My mother never pressured me to have a job while I was in high school as her worry was for me to focus on school work, but I applied and got the job at our local McDonald’s. I remember being so nervous. Thinking ‘what if I mess up?’ and looking back I was just so naive. I took whatever pay they offered which was not very much at all. I did what was asked of me with no question. I was taken advantage of by my superiors. I was under appreciated. I was often made fun of by customers and coworkers. I gave my all at least 95% of the time. I quickly became a training leader, then a manager. I was at one point offered assistant manager but the guy who got it was sleeping with the boss. Looking back with the knowledge I have now I would have done things so differently, but you live and learn. I spent three years there and made a lot of friends, most of which no longer work there and have been long forgotten. I look back at some of my friends that worked there with me and how we all were treated the same way.
I’ve been at my current job for 5 years now. It’s my second job, ever. I guess I am a dedicated employee. :)
Day 24 – Something that makes you cry.
A few simple words: hearing my mother cry or seeing her upset completely breaks my heart.
Day 20, 21, 22, and 23 of the 30 Day Challenge.
Day 20 – This month.
In the past month I’ve gone to a Halloween party, my mom visited for two weeks, I carved my first pumpkin, and I learned a lot of my friends. It’s been an interesting month for weather, too. It’s oddly still warm in Nashville when it is almost always cold by now!
Day 21 – Another moment.
The moment I was diagnosed with diabetes completely changed my life. I had been sick for a week or so and my mom forced me to go to the doctor. I remember sitting in a tiny room feeling god awful and then the doctor coming in and telling me and my mom that I was diabetic and would need to go to the hospital and stay for a few days. I remember her crying and me not seeing why it was such a big deal. What a moment.
Day 22 – Something that upsets you.
Fake people. Not just the ones that are obviously fake, but the ones that build up walls and once they come down you’re just left there standing in the mess. Those people upset me.
Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better.
A hug from my mother. Hearing Eddie’s laugh. Talking to Amanda. Having a home cooked meal with Krystl…
Day 19 – Something you regret.
I don’t regret many things at all but I do regret a few financial decisions. The biggest of which is student loans and my car. I should have applied for more scholarships, gone to community school instead of a university. I regret buying my car. It’s nice and I love it, but I could do the same thing in a far cheaper car. Cars are the single most annoying waste of money.
Day 17 – Your favorite memory.
I am not sure I have one single favorite memory. A lot of amazing memories came to mind when I read that it was Day 17 of this 30 Day Challenge.
I think of the times I sang on stage with my mother when I was 9-10 years old. I think of the times my mother and I would drive back and forth between Ohio and Nashville to visit family; that 8 hour drive was filled with laughs, talks, and a lot of singing. I think of all the memories I have with my friends - parties, photos, moments, jokes, movies, live shows, back stage, photoshoots, in school, on my couch, at their houses, in cars, while shopping. A rush of memories hits my brain.
Maybe because it was a recent memory, or because it was a first. Maybe because it was in my mind a perfect moment, but this summer I was dancing in a pool at 1am with someone I cared deeply for. He sang to me. We danced. We talked. That is one of my favorite memories. Each time I think of it I get a huge smile. Moments like that should happen more often, but each thing has to line up just perfectly to create a memory like that. We’re still friends, and things did not turn out like I wanted, but it is a memory that is in my brain forever. It’s on the favorite list.
Day 15 – Your dreams & Day 16 – Your first kiss.
Because I fell behind you get a two-for-one bonus today.
Day 15 - Your dreams.
My true dreams are to be a famous singer. Someone that inspires youth, uses fame to change the world, and gets to see it all happen from a view like none other. I however do not have a singing voice, nor the talents to write music. So, my realistic dream is to find true love and happiness while living on a beach in a beautiful home filled with lots and lots of windows. I want to be my own boss. I want to wake up next to someone that loves me as much as I love them.
Day 16 - Your first kiss.
This one isn’t romantic at all. I made a comment in front of a friend that I hadn’t been kissed. So, in the middle of this party in front of everyone he planted one on me. Not just a kiss. But. A kiss. It was unexpected, shocking, and a fun ‘first kiss’ story. Thanks Chad.
Day 14 – What you wore today.
Black dress slacks with a light pin stripe. A black button up shirt from Express. A black/gray/blue tie with diagonal stripes. Dress shoes. Glasses. Dress shocks with purple ends. Boxers. A k-fed wife beater.
Now, nothing. meow.
Day 13 – This week.
This week has been filled with Harry Potter. No, really. I’ve known was Harry Potter is, but I never read the books or watched the movies. I never “got into it” so to speak. So, this week I did. I dived right into the magical world of Potter. I’ve watched all the movies as of tonight.
I decided to watch the movies before reading the books because I wanted to see if it would hold my interest or if it would be too fantasy for my liking. It did. It held it close to it’s heart. So, now I’ll read the books. Also, watching movies before reading the books is usually the best idea since the books are almost always better than the movies and if you read the books, it’ll make the movie less magical. That’s what happened with Twilight.
So besides that and spending time with people like Amanda, Wesley, Jarrod, and going to work… I’ve been sick. I am better now, but being sick because of sugar levels is the worst. Felt like FLU x’s 100.
Oh. Also. Glee owns my heart. My hair is dark brown. Kelly Clarkson is still a lesbian.
Day 11 – Your siblings.
It would be mean to say that I do not have any, but I only have step siblings and one half sibling.
I have an older half-brother. Shared with my father. I met him a couple of times before we moved from Ohio. There is a picture somewhere. I have on a Tasmanian Devil shirt. He was nice, but reminded me a lot of my father.
I have two older step sisters, an older step brother, and one younger step brother. All through my mother’s marriage to my step father. The step sisters I’ve met a couple of times and they live in Texas. The older step brother came here to visit a few years ago and never left. He’s rude, disgusting, and in my mind a complete failure. Lately he’s been making improvements, I’ll give him that. My step sisters seem to have their life together and are pretty cool. The younger step brother will be 18 in March. Hard to believe that the little boy that moved in with us when my mom got married to his father will soon be 18. He’s currently in jail.
In conclusion. I’m the golden heavenly angel. I, even as crazy as I am, am also the most sane and productive of my ‘family’…
I often wish and wonder what life would have been like growing up with a younger or older brother, sister… I bet I would have enjoyed that. Only children are spoiled.
Day 10 – What you wore today.
My favorite pair of jeans, a purple v-neck shirt, my black cowboy boots, a purple & black scarf, and my peacoat.
Day 09 – Your beliefs.
I am not sure I have any real religious beliefs but I do believe in one hundred percent love. I believe in honesty, integrity, and intelligence.
Day 08 – A moment.
My life is full of moments. Right now the one that sticks out most in my head is the moment my grandmother died. This memory is forever there in my mind and sometimes I think about it often. I was thankful to be there for her and experience life’s last breath even though it was one of the saddest for me and my family. When I was born my grandmother was the first person to hold me. When she passed away I was the last one to hold her hand. The moment in my life where I started to believe in after life and angels.
I will forever remember this event. The moment that she looked around the room at everyone but past them as if they were not there but she stopped at my face, squeezed her hand tight around mine, smiled and looked me in the eyes… then smiled and took her last breath while looking above me. The room got cold. It was surreal. It was powerful. That moment changed me. That moment changed my family.
That’s the moment I remember, tonight…
Day 07 – Your best friend.
I really hate saying that just one person is my best friend, so I will write about a few people that mean the world to me because they are all my best friends.
Ladies first…
Amanda. This woman is intelligent, beautiful, caring, brutally honest, and funny. She is a long list of other things but those parts of her stick out the most in my mind. I can count on her smarts to assist me when most needed. I look at her and see nothing but the purest beauty inside and out. When I need that shoulder to cry on she is there and always with tender eyes and a smile. She gives great hugs, too. Two of the things I love most about my dear friend Amanda is her brutal honesty and sense of humor. When I need someone to hit me with the 100% truth - she does it. When it needs to hit me hard, it’s delivered with brutal honesty; which is sometimes needed. Sometime’s, and most often, it is delivered with comedy. That makes me love her.
Krystl. My creative and motherly friend. No kids yet, but when she does she is going to be the best mother ever. She has patience. She has that “let’s make cookies together” and “let’s do art projects” mentality. She has a passion for all things in her life that I admire. She’s an amazing photographer. A beautiful woman. She’s the one I turn to first when I need to complain and cry. She just embraces me, agrees with me no matter what (hey! Sometimes we need that!) or how ridiculous I am. There is a comfort and warmth with her. She is one of the most down to earth and classiest people I know.
My Mother. No words can truly describe my connection with my mother. I am a mama’s boy. She’s the one that brings out the crazy fun in me the most. She’s also the one that loves me no matter what and would go to any length to make sure I am ok. We don’t always see eye to eye, but that is expected. I love my mother dearly.
The Gents…
Wesley. I am not sure why I am so drawn to him sometimes. When I sit here and think of all the amazing things that make Wes, Wes… I realize that we do not have too much in common. I also think that what if Amanda never found him. I couldn’t imagine them not together or us all being best friends. Wes is someone that when you meet him he embraces you. He has a shining light. He might kid right now and say it’s his eyes or eyelashes. Maybe he’s right. Either way Wes is fun, funny, loyal, and always available to help. He’s got all the man smarts that I lack. Watching him tell me about cars is probably hilarious.
Chris. I have been through so much with Chris. I never really saw us being best friends in the beginning of our friendship, but I’ve learned that our differences is what makes our friendship grow. I’ve seen him grow a lot and I am so proud of him. I love his laugh. I love that he randomly checks in on me while he’s out on the road pro-suing a career in music. I love that he’s musically driven. He’s smart in so many things that I am not. He’s full of love and dedication. His smile warms the heart. With Chris when he is gone for months and then I get to see and hang out with him, it’s like we hung out yesterday. There is no awkwardness.
Eddie. I write about him a lot so some of you may know a lot about him and my feelings of him. I love that without saying a word he knows exactly what my mind is doing. He’s a very smart man that has a unique gift of completely changing the vibe in a room. People want to know him. People stare at him. He’s a beautiful man. We often joke that he ‘is the sweetest ever’, and he really is. I love when he leaves post-it notes around the house with messages to me. I love when he makes us food out of the oddest ingredients and often at the oddest times. I love that he is almost always smiling and laughing. His laugh is my favorite. It comes with such a force. He also understands me best because many of the things we face, we face together. Be that being gay, being male, being judged, and dealing with health issues. From day one I knew he was my best friend.
So many others come to mind. Amazing friends that I haven’t even met yet (my Forrest, my Linzey, Chris Crocker… one day they’ll be listed with paragraphs of love and our friendship…. I promise!) ….
…. So there you have it. The most important friends, the best ones, to me. These people mean the world to me and I am lucky to call them a best friend. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
